C5 - Why Clive, why?

Clive Sinclair was a national hero in my native homeland when he brought us personal computers like the ZX80, ZX81 and wonder of wonders, the ZX Spectrum (in glorious colour).

Sir Clive (as he so rightly became) and other luminaries like (Rt Hon Lord) Alan Sugar created a whole new market and brought a love of computers to the masses.

People wanted these things.  He couldn't make them fast enough   People lined up to buy these gems.  All was well at Sinclair Research.

But then Clive turned his hand to motor vehicles and we all cried.

Clive's folly, the C5

Why did he think this would work?  Look at the size of the thing.  It's too small and slow to fight for road space.  It's an invitation to an early death.

It's low to the ground so couldn't be seen by motorists.  Ride in a lane and you were honked by drivers who were furious because you couldn't even manage the 30mph (50kph) speed limit in an urban area.  Make the mistake of moving to the side and they'd push you into the kerb. 

It was marketed as a handy-dandy shopping vehicle.  How? There's no space for your groceries, unless you live on Pot Noodles.  In the promos for the C5, a business person in a suit was shown driving this topless wonder to work.  In England, where it rains more than a few times a day?

So it doesn't work for the shopper or the commuter, it's a menace to other road users and it runs on batteries that don't give you many miles before an overnight recharge is needed.

If that wasn't enough to put you off, this thing soon attained notoriety for unreliability.  People saw them broken down on the side of the road with the hapless owner trying to push them.  The AA and the RAC aren't going to be much help, are they?

Fortunately for the C5 this appeared in 1985 and 'happy slapping' was off in the distant future. Still, I wouldn't fancy your chances of escaping a bout of road rage when you're sprawled unprotected just inches from the asphalt.

But I guess the thing that was the killer for me was this - they made the owner look like a dork.  Not just a bit eccentric, an early adopter or a bit of a pioneer.  Sitting in one of these made even the coolest person look stupid.

Sorry, Clive.  Not your finest hour.